THE STEEL IN ME-- Part One

"You have to undergo the operation, there's no other option" Doctor Lim said softly as he looked at me.
 I felt my whole world stopped, I felt my feet went cold and I can't feel my hands.I looked at my mom and she was trying to grasp the information just as I am. Holding back her tears.
No..not again..my thoughts were running wild as I know that this has happened before. I don't want a sequel from my Scoliosis operation. There was nothing I could do,just like before..and so I cried.I cried hard... 
I was crying.. 

It was at that instant when I woke up from my dream, feeling the familiar ache at my back. I opened my eyes, there were tears. I heard the rain falling hard outside. At that moment I  knew why. I'm having my dilemma again-- my backache... I usually have this during the "ber" months, when rain is rampant. Fortunately for this past few months I have not experienced severe back ache, just mild ones, like the one I'm enduring right now. I stretched my back and lay flat on my bed as this usually does the trick every time I have this dilemma. I look at the ceiling, I dreamed the same scene that  happened 5 years ago..AGAIN.

I am  Scoliotic, one that has SCOLIOSIS.

According to Wikipedia scoliosis is a medical condition in which a person's spine is curved from side to side the spine of an individual with scoliosis may look more like an "S" or a "C", rather than a straight line. Scoliosis is typically classified as either congenital , idiopathic, or neuromuscular.. 

As for me, I have the "S" curved and I have it due to heredity, which means that I got these from my parents genes... 

Honestly, I wore a body brace made of silicone when  I was in grade 6. The same with the picture at the right side. I endured wearing it twenty-four seven for three long years.

I was still  hopeful  to prevent its curvature and to avoid the major surgery, the one I dreaded the most, but it was futile because the degree were increasing  already.  
At first when I learned that I had to undergo an operation, I asked God why, that was the main question running in my head during those times.Why me?

Every night I stare out in the darkness of my room, thinking if I'll survive the surgery or not-- if I would die or live. It was very hard to cope with, especially for a fourteen year old girl like me.
I was still young and full of life and to have a burden like that sucks.
I was very negative and I was thinking that I might die,  I detached myself from the others. I became a major  loner, at my point of view, why would I still socialize with the others if  I would just die? It would just be hard for me to leave this beautiful world, my family, my friends and what I love to do. 

It was a pathetic excuse but yes, I felt that way, what would you expect from a teenager? I was getting myself ready for whatever might happen. People were there comforting me,telling me that everything will be okay, that I can handle it looking at me with pity in their eyes. As if I need any of that, I don't need pity- that's the last thing I need from anyone. What I needed is hope -- and the people who gave me that never left me.They were always there for me,  fighting for me -- they are my parents. 

I can never remember how I survived the 5 months before my big day. Before the surgery. The day that my life changed.. .FOREVER.

I heard my phone rang and suddenly my reminiscing of the past was interrupted. I looked at my phone and saw the number of my mother calling, whenever its raining hard she never fails to call. For she knew I will be enduring back pains. Now that I am in college and far from home her worries increased. Though it's been 5 long years already she has always been the same when the issue is my back. 

I answered the phone........