MAKING A DIFFERENCE

 It has been a while since the last time that I actually posted something in my blog. Well life has been giving me a very hard and busy time.. Recently I have been living a monotonous life and somehow I wanted to do something out of my league and have a whole lot of experience. Then there's this group activity that I thought would give me headaches and sleepless night became the source of opportunity for giving my routinary life a whole new meaning.

It was earlier in the month of February when we were asked in our PR class to be a PR Team of a certain organization and increase its publicity to the people. The organization which my group has selected was Cebu Plus Association, this is an organization of people working on HIV response. They give off seminars, free HIV testing and other activities to the people most especially to the youth. They offer different programs one eample is the RE-YOU.  They increase the awareness of the public all about HIV. Many of us, discriminates PLHIV(people living with HIV) where in fact they are just like us. Truth is I admire how they manage to fight inspite of the challenges they have. They are actually a lot more braver than any of those who looks down on them right?

I was amazed by how dedicated the people in the organization are and it made me realize how noble they are in their works in our group activity we conducted a seminar with the help of CEBU PLUS speakers and organizers. The experience was rewarding. Although of course there were flaws and misunderstandings they were easily resolve and the likes. It was a very busy and hectic day for all of us but it was all worth it in the end. 

The activity was a fun filled and learning experience for all of us..It  was not that big of an event but deep within us, its not just a compilation to an academic activity, we were making a difference, not only to other people but to ourselves too.

before the seminar

interview with the head of organizers

registration

 

THE STEEL IN ME---Part Two

"Hi Nay" I said upon answering my phone.
"Are you having back pains again? It's been raining here since yesterday, what about over there? she asked.
"It raining today, a heavy one don't worry Nay I'm just fine" I explained.
"Ok, take your medicine immediately after breakfast for the ache might get worse and take a rest, anyway......" and her litany started, I thought to myself. I know it will take forever before she finished her speech reminding me of things that I should and should not do. I know this line too well and here she go again.........

I just finished talking with my mother. I stared at the my phone for a few minutes I feel a thousand times better  after our conversation. She instructed me a million things and what's clear tome was to take my pain reliever after eating and take a rest  for she fears my back pains might get worse. Titanium, which are the one that I have in my back are weak to cold, that is why every time it rains I feel so fragile  and have these back pains. I was used to it already and I actually  handle it well.

 I climbed out of bed and started to do my morning rituals. It was a Saturday and my projects are already piling up that's why I must start early. I started to do my assignments. I am already fresh from bath and I also had my medication done. I stared at the blank page hoping to start something for my project. Yet, I was distracted.

After all these years, I still remember  everything about the experience. I have accepted the fact that the event will always be with me, a part of who I am. Especially the Titaniums that I have in my back  or as my friends call me, the steel in me. When I underwent to the  surgery, they have to put Titanium metal to my spine to stop it from increasing  the curve Titanium metals are the one's that are usually used by surgeon because of it's  characteristics, it is inert to human body fluids, strong yet light weight, flexible and it's non magnetic so its actually perfect  for the job.

When I decided to take the risk in order for me to get well, I eventually thought the hardest part would the  recovery period. I was right, and wrong at the same time. After the operation,  one coherent thought that crossed my mind was that I was alive and I was thankful for that miracle. I made a decision, that I would do everything of my ability to get well. Not for myself, but for my family because  I know that the burden they were carrying was twice as the one I that I  have. Everything  felt so weird, especially with my whole back being numb, if you'll ask me if it was painful I will answer you a big  NO. There was no severe pain I was oblivious of the pain and my back was simply numb that time.

I had the whole summer of the year 2008 for recovery period. After that awkward stage for me, I thought that my nightmare finally would end. I was dead wrong. I thought  I could do what I love to do again, the stuffs I am fund with before I got diagnosed, I was not.

 The hardest part of my trial was facing my own self. My own demons. Of course, there were so many restrictions after the surgery. You can't do this, can't do that. Few are: not to run,jump,bend,carry anything heavy and so many more. The result? I was not a typical teenager.





Right after the operation were the darkest part of the journey. I had a lot of insecurity issues .I felt worthless, abnormal and jealous. The painful part was I got bullied. They called me a cyborg,"bagtik" and a lot more.  As expected my self-esteem went low and the confidence I once had vanished. For the second time, I detached myself from the crowd. The person whom I had was my best friend. Everyone misjudged me, I didn't freaking care. I was like this till the end of my high school days.I  became passive to time, to reality ,to the world.

When I entered college ,everything was so new.  I have to live my life in the present, I have to stand up on my own. The people around me made me realize one thing: CHANGE. I need to change and start living my life. Why, I had the second chance in life and I was wasting it. Someone slap that reality to my face(thanks to her) and I knew that she was right. I had so many excuses, lame ones.  It was again difficult, I was leaving my comfort zone and everything felt so new. I have to do it one day at a time.I was again at base one. To be honest, of all the pain I experienced the one that scarred me the most was not the physical pain, but the emotional ones that I had to endure during the whole time.Involuntarily I touch the scar at my back.

I stare again at the screen of the laptop.My smiling face is flashing on the screen. I looked at my picture. They say I was a brave girl,,and I realize maybe I still am. I was being nostalgic for  an hour and a half already , I noticed as I looked at my watch. Until now I am trying to overcome my fears, my issues, my demons. They say I am tough because I survived everything, what they don't know is that there are million of cases like mine in the world. I am just one of the many.

Yes, I am tough.-- the steel in me says so...but there are still challenges to overcome.
I  hope and pray that the steel in me can conquer it...just like before.

I started to type at the blank page. I know now what I should write.

THE STEEL IN ME-- Part One

"You have to undergo the operation, there's no other option" Doctor Lim said softly as he looked at me.
 I felt my whole world stopped, I felt my feet went cold and I can't feel my hands.I looked at my mom and she was trying to grasp the information just as I am. Holding back her tears.
No..not again..my thoughts were running wild as I know that this has happened before. I don't want a sequel from my Scoliosis operation. There was nothing I could do,just like before..and so I cried.I cried hard... 
I was crying.. 

It was at that instant when I woke up from my dream, feeling the familiar ache at my back. I opened my eyes, there were tears. I heard the rain falling hard outside. At that moment I  knew why. I'm having my dilemma again-- my backache... I usually have this during the "ber" months, when rain is rampant. Fortunately for this past few months I have not experienced severe back ache, just mild ones, like the one I'm enduring right now. I stretched my back and lay flat on my bed as this usually does the trick every time I have this dilemma. I look at the ceiling, I dreamed the same scene that  happened 5 years ago..AGAIN.

I am  Scoliotic, one that has SCOLIOSIS.

According to Wikipedia scoliosis is a medical condition in which a person's spine is curved from side to side the spine of an individual with scoliosis may look more like an "S" or a "C", rather than a straight line. Scoliosis is typically classified as either congenital , idiopathic, or neuromuscular.. 

As for me, I have the "S" curved and I have it due to heredity, which means that I got these from my parents genes... 

Honestly, I wore a body brace made of silicone when  I was in grade 6. The same with the picture at the right side. I endured wearing it twenty-four seven for three long years.

I was still  hopeful  to prevent its curvature and to avoid the major surgery, the one I dreaded the most, but it was futile because the degree were increasing  already.  
At first when I learned that I had to undergo an operation, I asked God why, that was the main question running in my head during those times.Why me?

Every night I stare out in the darkness of my room, thinking if I'll survive the surgery or not-- if I would die or live. It was very hard to cope with, especially for a fourteen year old girl like me.
I was still young and full of life and to have a burden like that sucks.
I was very negative and I was thinking that I might die,  I detached myself from the others. I became a major  loner, at my point of view, why would I still socialize with the others if  I would just die? It would just be hard for me to leave this beautiful world, my family, my friends and what I love to do. 

It was a pathetic excuse but yes, I felt that way, what would you expect from a teenager? I was getting myself ready for whatever might happen. People were there comforting me,telling me that everything will be okay, that I can handle it looking at me with pity in their eyes. As if I need any of that, I don't need pity- that's the last thing I need from anyone. What I needed is hope -- and the people who gave me that never left me.They were always there for me,  fighting for me -- they are my parents. 

I can never remember how I survived the 5 months before my big day. Before the surgery. The day that my life changed.. .FOREVER.

I heard my phone rang and suddenly my reminiscing of the past was interrupted. I looked at my phone and saw the number of my mother calling, whenever its raining hard she never fails to call. For she knew I will be enduring back pains. Now that I am in college and far from home her worries increased. Though it's been 5 long years already she has always been the same when the issue is my back. 

I answered the phone........

Dressing Your Nails Through -- Nail Art

Since the start of the Nail Art trend,  I knew I was hooked. Even just as a kid I already loved painting my nails, those were the days when I used my watercolors and crayons as a nail polish. Since then, I enjoyed playing with my nails and was very keen about it, although I don't apply nail polish yet at that time for the fact that my school doesn't allow students with painted nails, especially grade schoolers. I usually maintain it clean and very well trimmed. During those days, Nail Art was not yet a trend to the youth and even to the adults.

Then , the trend of Nail art suddenly erupted. It was part of the young society's fashion and everyone was very hooked with it. At my very first try, I really hated the result(it was horrible) though I was very used in applying nail polish , this one is not easy and it requires a lot of artistic talent ( which unfortunately I lack) . After trying numerous times ( and failed numerous time too )  finally I achieved a better result and that was the start of my beloved so called passion slash first love. I painted my nails with different styles and designs every week. 

Some is hooked to nail art for different reasons, among of the many is that it's their hobbies, their interest and passion, some just  feels good for having those and others do it for fun or  to be  with the trends. In my case I do it because I find satisfaction and happiness doing my creations and seeing the results.

There are actually tons of designs that you may apply depending on the type of your nails. Here are some of the easy and elegant designs 

         

 French Step

Inverted French Step

These are among of my favorite designs and well, yeah it's too obvious, I love french step designs it's very simple yet elegant and so easy to apply. 



Nail Art is not just a Fashion, it is also a Passion. One that require patience and sufficient effort and talent.
As for me, Nail Art will always be a number one passion in my heart :))

Till next post guysss and gals  :D